01
Jul
12

Battlefield

The war rages on. Relentless, like the hail that lashes down, determined to to leave everything destroyed. The oldest trees are starting to break, unable to take the weight of it all. The burden’s too much.

I watch it all, prisoner of my own mind. As it unfolds to mind’s eye, in glorious clarity, I seek catharsis as I play out the toughest decisions of my life in slow motion, watching my follies and watching the men fall and bleed to death. How they all seemed to lie there, red, bloody, with an eerie smile of sorts on their dying visage, as if the last thing they thought of was something that made them smile maniacally, laugh with remorse.

I wonder whether it will be my turn to battle it out next. I am sure I’m not ready to  die.

I remember their faces. I remember the agony of it all. I wish I hadn’t caused all that pain, seeing now that I was going to be paid back in kind by the world, the universe had not been on my side after all. The deceitful maestro had led me on so.

The guards come for me. I want to flee.

There is no other door but for the one where they stand.

The window was high.

I am on the tall chair.

I grab onto the window ledge, I can see the glass.

I make to open it.

Strong arms hold me from all sides and pull me down. He forces a flimsy armour like the ones the others all wore on me. They march me down the steep stariway of that tall overly lit tower. I feel I’m hurling towards death. The light blinds me. And as I step out, I can’t see a thing.

I lie  on the wet mud. I feel the impact for a moment.

I no longer am. I am filled with delight.

For one last time I’d escaped punishment. I just go on.

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